About Me

Why this page?

People may experience me as strange, and I am aware of that. Everything has his reason. Besides a certain personality, the way your life goes has an impact on it. Sometimes my statements are difficult to understand. Sometimes the things I do are difficult to understand. Sometimes the way I think is difficult to understand. And this is further reinforced by an IQ that deviates from the average. (This is nothing to be proud of. It makes communication even more difficult). I therefore have the impression that I am slightly different from the average citizens. An immediate example is publishing this page, which may be perceived as weird. But I don't care at all. I do what I do.

Part 1 - Who am I

People

I don't like a big noisy crowd of people. As a matter of fact, I hate people because of their selfish or stupid behavior. (Often visible in traffic). Humanity has proven than it cannot properly deal with power, money and religion. The planet was better without people.

Retired in ICT

I retired after 42 years working in ICT. And I DO NOT SUPPORT people with their ICT issues. 

Art and Beauty

Art and beautiful things touch me. With on top the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona.

Music - Bands

I get high with music of Pink Floyd, Yes, Triggerfinger

Music - Instruments

Saxophone, Lead guitar, Hang drums and Harp.

Music - Artists: Freddie Mercury - Keith Richards - Michael Jackson - Roger Waters

Jon Lord - Steve Howe - Rick Wakeman

Loneliness and being alone

My worst experience in life in "Loneliness". My best experience is "being alone".

Cosmos and science

With on top the history of the cosmos as it it presented by Carl Sagan, the James Webb telescope and the Large Hadron Collider at CERN (Geneva).

Afterlife and Religion

Convinced in the "Afterlife", but not as presented in religion. Religion is made by mankind, so don't trust it. It is a political way to control people and gathering power. However, I believe in the force and existence of "An Energy" as a dimension in the cosmos. In this way, the thing that is called "Consciousness", the feeling of "Yourself", often called "Spirit", is nothing more that the energy that makes your body "Alive". Since "Energy" never disappears, but only changes in form,  our "Spirit" remains after oud body "dies". It just goes back to a status where it was before you were born.

Be aware of charlatans who are asking money to "help" you in life. For sure in the "spiritual" domain. The money is more important that your health. (My own experience with somebody I knew very well!)

Ancient Egypt

Start of our civilization and maybe even more...

People I admire for some reason

Scientists: Albert Einstein - Nikola Tesla - Stephen Hawking - Isaac Newton - Galileo Galilei

Politicians: Mahatma Gandhi - Barack Obama - Mikhail Gorbachev - Ronald Reagan - Winston Churchill

Actors: Tom hanks - Sean Connery - Morgan freeman

Belgians: Etienne Vermeersch - Jean-Luc Dehaene - Eddy Merckx - Toots Thielemans - Bart de Wever

Movies

I like movies with historical or psychological content. Here some examples.

The Hunt for Red October - The Name of the Rose - Forest Gump - Spartacus

Saving private Ryan - Schindler's List - Apocalypse Now - Cast Away

Epic fascinating mountains

Mont Ventoux (FR) - Tourmalet (FR) - Croix de Fer (FR)

Stelvio (IT) - Zoncolan (IT) - Grossglockner (AT)

Mont Blanc (FR) - Matterhorn (CH) - Eiger North (CH)

Mount Everest (Nepal) - K2 ( Pakistan)

Towers

I am fascinated by towers. Here my favorites. I vlimbed them all.

Eifel Tower (Paris) - Empire State Building (New York) - CN Tower (Toronto) - Burj Khalifa (Dubai)

Part 2 - My university of life

As long as you stay in your comfort zone, you probably learn not much in life. When you encounter big issues, you have the opportunity to improve yourself. For most people, life is no walk in the park. However, not everybody turns it into an advantage for future experiences. I had my share of events that had a huge impact on who I am today. On this page I explain my path. But start with the video below. It covers somehow everybody's path.

The train of life

My path to wisdom (brief summary)

The first 20 years

I came to this world by accident, if you know what I mean. My parents of 21 and 18 years old, adult children, where not prepared for this. And it turns out, they never would. Born in 1959, I lost them quite soon in my "Train of life". For my first 12 years, I could count on my dad as my "friend". My mother however didn't gave me the feeling of a save place to stay because of frequent hysterical attacks and depressions. After that period, things began to change as my father was challenging multiple promotions on his work. From that moment, I lost him a first time as I was a teenager who was annoying him. His career was more important than his only child.

His career shaped my life even more when I met a girl who was the daughter of a big boss on his job. After a relation of one year with that girl on the age of 19, I wanted to quit because it was not my true love. (My true love was an other 4 year younger girl. But she was to young for me at that age). When I discussed this with my parents, my father went really angry. His own words to my: "You're not going to make fun of me at work!". It seems that his career had an advantage when his son married the daughter of a boss. Beside this, that boss was known as a rich man. A reason for my mother to marry that girl. The pressure was so high, that I couldn't resist because of huge penalties if I didn't do what they wanted me to do.

Wedding

So I married her at the young age of 20 in 1980. (This was my first mistake in life with huge implications!). And we both had absolutely no desire to have children. We should enjoy life instead. And because of enough money to do so, we had quite a happy time together. We could easily buy a new car, go on multiple holidays as far as the United States of America (Rare to do those days), building a new house and much more. Things that was impossible for other people of our age. However, my parents showed traces of jealousy. I didn't understood why, because I fulfilled their wish. (Much later, I should discover the real reason why.)

Those happy times changed when she came close to the age of 30, and developed a wish to have children. This was not the agreement, and beside this, I was not ready for it. But she had a very strong character to impose her will to me and I surrendered finally. (This was my second mistake in life with huge implications!).

So my first son was born in 1988. I was not ready to have children, but I really loved that little boy. But the happy days changed to a life with responsibilities. And in the long run, my marriage to someone who was not my great love, started a fight in my brain. This went so far that I started having hyperventilation attacks, not knowing what it was those days. (You can compare it with a starting hart attack!). I felt very unhappy and at an age of 30 I wanted to divorce. This was accompanied by very emotional scenes, because she didn't wanted this. And to make a long story short, she became pregnant of my second son (Born in 1990).

Strong character and stubborn

As years go by, I had close encounters with her "dark side". It started with finding my neighbors inferior. She behave as an upper class woman to other people, while I remained the same man, talking to everybody. For her, they had inferior jobs as carpenter, truck driver, printer,...while I had an ICT job and she was...just an regular clerk in a V.A.T. office.

Beside this, she had a very strong will to get things done her way. And she was very stubborn to reach her target. Even over dead bodies. Or should I say: "New bodies"? She managed it to get pregnant again. And to this day, I am not sure that my second son is mine. (However technical possible). But when she informed me about it, this is wat she said to me, literal: "I'm pregnant with you, now you can't leave anymore, you bastard".

Her behaviour had to do with the way she was raised. As the only child in a rich family, she was spoiled and could get anything she wanted. Even as a young child, she wouldn't share anything with other children. I remember plenty of stories told by her parents, who where even proud of this selfishness. 

Point of no return reached

So my life continued with her, the forced way. But forcing people against their will has a price. It is a short victory but you risk to loose a war. And in 1995 I finally managed to "escape" from my golden prison. There was no way I should go back, even in the worst circumstances. I went from rich to poor, from a family to lonely. And loneliness is absolutely my worst experience in life so far. There was nobody left in my life. Not even my parents. Their own words: "You took away our happiness and you will pay for that". Not really a sign of thru love to your only child. If I was happy in life was not their concern.

So I ended up in an absolute low point in my life. But after all, this was my biggest luck in life I ever had.

Everyone is responsible for their own happiness

The advantage of having nothing, is that you have nothing to loose...and everything to win. And the most important things are:

  • Believe in yourself
  • Be independent of others
  • Go your own way (Song by Chris Rea that helped me)
  • (I want to) Break Free (Song by Queen that helped me)
  • Be honest to yourself

I managed to survive against all odds. And I sought psychiatric assistance by myself and without any shame. The psychiatrist, who was 65 at the time, told me he never saw somebody recovering so fast. I thanked him but he told me that it was me, myself and I who did the work. The moral of the story is that my ex wife and my parents reached the opposite of their target by "punishing" me and force me to go back. Since that period, I managed to deal much better with the big issues in life. And I am grateful that people helped me with this, even if it was against their will.

The battle rages on

This process was not finished yet. Unless you end this mortal life, you continue to learn in the "University of life". At least, as long as you open yourself for it and don't close your eyes. And I had to pass plenty of tests to improve myself. But the basic fundaments were available.

Due to my ex wife, her new husband and my parents, my children were brainwashed against me by all possible ways. And despite some short contacts with my oldest son, it seems that I lost them for ever. Or at least to the moment that they have an opportunity to grow in life as I had. However, the one with money has always an advantage to push their will.

Beside this, it turned out that my father was a great narcissist. Just as his brother was. Narcissism cannot be cured, and both died with it. There are many YouTube videos on  "Narcissism" these days. As well as ways to cure from it as a victim of a narcissist. This is truly underestimated!

So, at some point, the battle rages on. And it still hurts me. But I found a way to deal with it. And I found the biggest achievement in life.

The biggest achievement in life

The biggest achievement in life is to be happy. Nothing can beat it. Even big amounts of money and power are inferior. I saw very rich people who were completely upset, weak, unhappy. The same for people with power who can force other people their own way. The need of power is for sure a weakness and a sign of unhappiness. Many "managers" at a company suffer the same way.

I assume that in our western world, we need some money. And counting money every month to survives gives pressure that distubs possible happiness. I am aware of that. But I hope you understand the message.

My way to a happy life

When I am writing this, I am retired. This means I have a lot of time. And this covers my own experiences, but I am still learning every day. And not everything I write down is easy for me as well. But maybe it can help you.

  • As long as everything goes well, there is no opportunity to grow. So, if things start to go wrong, take it and learn from it.
  • Listen to yourself, investigate your wishes, ask why and think about it.
  • Have targets and goals to make yourself proud. It is not wrong to talk about your achievements.
  • Turn failures into wins by persevering what you started. Be patient.
  • Do a job you really like. And if not, change.
  • Choose your own friends/partner.
  • Don't be jealous on rich people. Often they are not happy at all with all their problems around their money.
  • Be aware of charlatans who are asking money to "help" you in life. For sure in the "spiritual" domain. The money is more important that your health. (My own experience with somebody I knew very well!)
  • Limit the consumption of daily news and politics you are forced to swallow by the media. It mostly tries to break you or will force you in a certain direction.
  • Do other things than watching TV in the evening. Use that time for things you say you have no time. Learn to play music, care for animals, move your body, care for a lonely one, ...
  • Avoid fear. From the 100% fears you have, maybe 5% really happens. This means that you make yourself unhappy.
  • Wait until the emotions slow down before you react on events. However, say what you have to say and don't get stuck with it.
  • Take your time to be alone or at least have some time for yourself. At home, on a hike, while cycling, or anything else you like.
  • Make some time to exercise your body 2 or 3 times a week. A good health doesn't exist without body movements.
  • Limit or avoid alcohol, sugar, meat, cheese, coffee,...and eat more fruit and vegetables. Consume 2 liter water/day.